Thursday, January 24, 2013

PIROUETTING BETWEEN NY AND AZ


Pirouettes…that classic ballet technique of turning on one leg.   I can’t do them.  That is, I can’t do them with effortless grace.   A key to pirouettes is to maintain one’s center of balance.  The body and mind in alignment with space and time.   Recently, my pirouettes have been somewhat off-centered, tilted a little towards the East Coast as my body and mind adjust to a life transition this past year.

When my husband and I looked at houses in Tucson, AZ a little over a year ago, we never thought that we would immediately find something we liked.  We never thought that we would summarily take the leap to a two-city lifestyle.   Our approach to life has always been very measured and planned.  Slow and steady…that was us.  There was the security in staying within our geographic comfort zone.  We lived in the NY area for over 20 years.  We raised our children there.  Both of our careers are based there.  We were surrounded by a blanket of friends and family there.  We had history there!  My center-of-balance was firmly planted on the East Coast!  Or so I thought.

Sometimes, things just happen.  Opportunities arise and that little voice inside starts to whisper enticingly, “yeah…go ahead…take the leap.”  It was uncharacteristically impulsive of us.  We talked about the transition a little…but we really didn’t go into great depths about the pros and cons.  Mainly we listed these general thoughts:  the kids are grown and self-sufficient; our current house is too big for the two of us; we’re healthy enough to do something different.  That’s about it…a few minutes of discussion.  No long, drawn-out “should we’s.”  Our friends, family and colleagues were shocked.  We shocked ourselves!  We looked at each other and said “why not.”

Why not indeed!  It’s not as if we were leaving NY forever.  We were just adding another place to call home.  Three months after we saw the Tucson house, we found ourselves on a cross-country drive from NY to Tucson to begin a new chapter in our lives.  The road trip provided us with five days of fascinating experiences, but that is a subject for another blog!  Suffice it to say, this is a huge country and every corner carries its own wonders and uniqueness. 

My primary focus upon settling into our new Tucson home was to find a place to dance.  I can live anywhere, as long as I can dance.   I was fortunate to find several studios that offer a variety of disciplines, from classical ballet to improvisation techniques to traditional hula.   I wasted no time to start dancing and very quickly began to feel grounded into my new life in Tucson.   It is interesting how dancing with others can provide one with a sense of community.  The dialogue of dance envelopes me within a circle of shared experiences among dancers of all ages, genders and experiences.  My deep conviction that everyone can and should dance begins to take firmer shape as I find myriad opportunities to explore and expand my movement vocabulary with others who, like me, just want to dance. 

I hold an idealistic streak within me that believes if people danced together more, there would be more happiness and understanding in this world.    All right, I admit, it is a simplistic world view.  Obviously there are many issues and problems that can not be addressed by dance.  However, I have a deep-seated need to be a part of the conversation about dance and the positive role it can play in creating community.  In our world of fractures and factions, collaboration and community become vital, healing ingredients.  I just need to figure out how I can combine my love for dance with my need to make positive contributions to our world.

What exactly does all this mean?   It means that I am embarking on a grand adventure of exploration.  One that I hope will help me develop skills to connect with people through dance …to create movement together….to discover the dancer within us.   We all have it…the ability to dance.   I want to be a part of that discovery and I look forward to working in environments where dance is, or becomes, a natural part of everyday life.  I want to search, investigate and learn about the dance thread connecting all of us as human beings. 

As I continue my daily dance practice, I spot an illuminating light bulb moment.  My center of balance is not dictated by geographic space….it is determined by wherever I am at any given moment.  Home is not necessarily a physically-limited area…it is a feeling of belonging and that can happen anywhere as long as I am open to being part of the communities around me.  New York will always be a home to me….but Tucson is also a home now.   As for my pirouettes….I shall constantly be practicing and adjusting my center of balance.   After all, I intend to pirouette not only between NY and AZ, but also globally as I work to fulfill my dream of dancing around the world.  This dream takes many shapes in scope and projects, but at the core is the image of joyous pirouettes within communities of dancers.  There is that little voice inside again, “yeah…go ahead…do a double pirouette!”

So off I go!  I await the chance to dance with you!

Monday, July 23, 2012


"PAINTING PLUM BLOSSOMS IN THE AIR"

A few weeks ago, at a photography exhibit, I came across an interesting piece that was based upon a Chinese saying of “Painting Plum Blossoms in the Air.”   The phrase referred to the story of a Chan monk who spent his life painting plum blossoms in the air, but never actually put ink to paper.  The immediate question one has….what is the purpose of all that effort if there isn’t proof of some sort of product?  Where is the concrete evidence?

I admit that I was falling victim to this sentiment as I started to measure my self-worth against what I have accomplished so far.   Here is that tricky word again….accomplishment.  What can I list as my accomplishments?  Seems to be somewhat of a short list!

We live in such a goal-oriented society where success oftentimes is measured by the obvious external factors, most commonly that of fame and fortune.   I certainly have neither.  I take a whole host of dance classes, but I don’t consider myself a “professional dancer.”   I have choreographic concepts that I want to explore, but have not yet choreographed any original pieces.  I have a million ideas of things I want to do, but they are so far just ideas…many of which are in that “vague, fantasy” state.    It sure is easy to descend into feeling overwhelmed and defeated!

BUT…. while it is the human condition to doubt, (doubt keeps us honest and humble), it is also part of my human condition to be optimistic in the face of obstacles.    Plus, having a heap big dose of plain old-fashioned stubbornness helps!    I am at a stage in my life where I can actually engage in my love for dance. I have the time and energy to pursue, experiment and experience the myriad joys of dance.   I am surrounded by generous, talented artists who inspire me with their commitment to their craft.  My wonderful family and friends are all completely supportive of my endeavors.   I am in a good place.  There is no turning back.  I refuse to give up.   The truth is pretty simple….I can’t imagine my life without dance!

The only measure of success that I should focus on is how I approach my daily practice of dance.  That is the key word…practice…not end-result.  There is no end-result…only continuous, mindful practice.  Every experience (good or bad) is an inspiration for further exploration through the lens of dance.  Every day, whether I am in the studio or not, I am dancing. 

And so, I am painting my plum blossoms in the air....except, of course, I am painting with dance.

Monday, July 9, 2012


WORD FOR THE DAY

I learned a new word today:  “Ethnochoreology.”  The definition of this interesting word, as posted on Wikipedia, is:

“the study of dance through the application of a number of disciplines.   It is not just the study or cataloging of the thousands of external forms of dances, but the attempt to come to grips with dance as existing within the social events of a given community as well as within the cultural history of a community. “  The article goes on to state: “Dance is not just a static representation of history, not just a repository of meaning, but a producer of meaning each time it is produced—not just a living mirror of a culture, but a shaping part of culture, a power within the culture.”  

A light bulb starts to brighten over my head.  I continue to read and see the following quote:

“The power of dance rests in acts of performance by dancers and spectators alike, in the process of making sense of dance… and in linking dance experience to other sets of ideas and social experiences.” 
(John Blacking. (1984) “Dance as Cultural System and Human Capability: An Anthropological Perspective.” in Dance, A Multicultural Perspective. Report of the Third Study of Dance Conference, ed. J. Adshead, 4-21, GuildfordUniversity of Surrey. Cited in Giurchescu (2001).”

Note to self….look up and read the entire report by Mr. Blacking. 

The light bulb is burning bright now, a beginning moment of clarity.

I know I want to dance….that was never the question.  However, the questions have been “how” and “what?”  I have been talking to many people, both within and outside of the dance field, to learn from their personal experiences and expertise.  I have spent hours listening to my own thoughts, trying to wipe away the unnecessary internal chatter and define the core of my questions.  I have been searching through university degree programs to get a sense of what academic programs are available out there and whether a degree would be a part of my journey of exploration.

The stream of consciousness has been overflowing with an array of half-formed ideas and seemingly unrelated words.  To make sense of it all, I retrieve the notes from my sessions with an incredible career coach who was instrumental in helping me collect and organize my confused thoughts about wanting to dance, wanting to contribute to society in some way, wanting to say something with my dance...what the heck am I talking about?  She devised exercises which gave me the necessary tools to carefully itemize what was important and let go of what was not. 

Sounds simple!  Easy beans, you say!  Not so fast! Getting to the core of anything means taking a good, hard, truthful look at oneself.  The key word here is “truthful.” I will now admit that I am thankful she asked all those really hard questions!  It took me quite a few additional months of inner conversations with myself before a vision began to take the hazy shape of possibility.  Then today, while randomly scrolling through the internet, I came across this word, “Ethnochoreology.”  I tested the word out loud several times, liking the way it rolls off my tongue…liking its rhythm…liking the way it captures in a few words what I want to do with my dance.

Here is my “Ah Ha Light Bulb” moment:  my pursuit of dance is founded upon my interest in the human condition…how dance, either as a performance art form or an intrinsic part of heritage/everyday life, can be a commentary of social experiences.  How dance, historically and culturally, is a tantalizing glimpse of specific moments in time, whether it be for ritual, celebratory or performance purposes.  It is the affirmation that we, as human beings, have the means to communicate effectively without words. 

And thus, those disparate words that I have been bandying about recently (“Dance,” “Community” and “Social Action”) begin to coalesce into something more concrete.  There is a course of study out there I can explore.  Of course the academic program is at the University of Limerick in Ireland, but I’m sure I can find or structure something closer to home.

How exciting is this!  All due to the propitious discovery of one very intriguing word!  

Saturday, July 7, 2012


CHOREOGRAPHY ON THE FLY

Creativity is a funny sort of friend.  It disappears when we are desperate for its wisdom…then appears suddenly when we least expect to see it.    When I left for a month-long trip, I told my colleagues that I will return with two pieces of choreography.  At the time, the promise did not seem unreasonable.  After all, I had at least four full weeks of time on my own to work on the projects.  I had access to space, music, and free time.  Easy beans, I told myself.

Interesting how quickly those four weeks flew by. I listened to the music daily, awaiting the arrival of creativity…but inspiration was silent. I worked on other tasks, but my mind kept looking…hoping that choreographic answers would appear in a bright flash of light before me. Panic started to set in.  I wondered whether I had the ability to really create dance pieces!  I prepared to return without any semblance of concrete choreography.   No amount of sighing and hands-wringing helped. 

I boarded the plane and settled into the cramped middle seat. (Apparently, aisle seats can be had for an additional $40, but that’s a topic for another article!)   As the journey began, I did what I always do to relax when forced to sit for hours on end…I plugged into my mp3 player.   I am never without my music.  I sat back, closed my eyes, and allowed my mind to go blank.

Almost immediately, unbidden, visions of movement began to stream behind my eyelids…as if I was watching a movie.  Yikes!  Creativity found me…but I was stuck in a seat thousands of miles in the air.  Undaunted, I began furiously writing notations…notes of rhythmic counts and their accompanying movements, notes on musical marks, notes of formations. My feet were tapping, my hands danced, my head nodding to the beats.  From the corner of my eyes, I noticed my seatmates edging a little away from me….as much as possible within the confines of an economy airline seat.  Ha ha….I must have looked quite the sight. 

Ah..but one can not allow creative vision to dissipate without honoring its presence.  I realized that my earlier attempts failed because I was seeking answers outside of myself.  Answers do not exist out there in the stratosphere somewhere.  They do not rain down upon me. The “Ah Ha” moment isn’t an “out-of-body” experience. It seemed kind of obvious at that point…I was looking so hard for an answer to be given to me that I did not allow the openness of heart necessary for creative inspiration. 

By the time my flight touched down, I had notations for two pieces…my first choreographic attempts!  I am unsure whether my movement ideas will make sense when actually danced…but that’s the second step of the process.   I will be working with friends who will generously give me their time and experience as we bring my scribbled notes off the paper and onto the dance floor.  I look forward to their ideas and know that the pieces will change and evolve.  After all, dance is a collaborative endeavor…where the finished piece can be completely different from the original vision.  That is the excitement of dance.  Besides, what can be better than dancing with friends?  

Now…I wonder if I have to get on another plane in order to choreograph another piece.  Choreography on the fly can be an expensive creative process!

Friday, July 6, 2012


AM I TOO OLD TO DANCE?  

Common perceptions would agree.   After all, I’m in my 50’s; have never had “formal” dance training; and while I have performed on stage and off, have never danced professionally.  It is human nature to doubt.  Certainly I have my moment.  Yet, the call to dance is stronger than any self-doubt.  So…here I am, embarking on this incredible journey to leap into my commitment to explore all the possibilities of dance and what I want to say with my dance. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to dance.   I did not have access to formal dance training during my formative years, but always managed to find ways to participate in dance projects offered by the various schools I attended.  Or I would fling myself around the house, accompanied by scratchy vinyl albums played on a small plastic turntable.  My mother’s frequent admonishments to stop acting “silly” were oftentimes ignored.  I simply retreated to the solitude of my bedroom, closed the door, and continued.  My body just moved whenever I heard music and my poor mother’s vain attempts to “tame” my “wildness” was a constant source of conflict.

During my college years, I had the good fortune to meet a group of dedicated dance students who kindly enveloped me with their positive energies.   It was with them that I attended my first dance class.  My soul found its center.   I spent most of my college years in the dance studio…learning, experimenting, discovering, dancing. 

After I left college, I put aside dance for several decades.   I married my wonderful husband, had two wonderful kids and lived a happy, fulfilled family life.   I worked in various fields through the years, from retail to travel consultant to bookkeeping to nonprofit administration.   But my passion for dance remained a vivid spark within my heart…and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I found my way back to it.   I didn’t have any clear idea about what I wanted to do with dance.  It was enough to know that somehow, some day, I will dance.

My explorations began 10 years ago, starting with consistent attendance of dance classes.  I’ve been a Company Manager for a local dance studio and the Executive Director of a nonprofit professional dance company.   I’ve worked with incredible dancers, dance administrators and dance instructors…learning a variety of skills beyond the dance studio.   My friends and I have produced dance festivals, designed and managed dance programs and residencies within our communities and initiated artistic collaborations with other organizations and artists.  It was a huge period of growth for me.

Now I come full circle to the question of what I hope to accomplish in my pursuit of dance at my age.   It is really a matter of perception, isn’t it?  I’ve wasted enough time wondering whether my dreams are possible.  They become impossible if I stay static….if I don’t listen to the call….if I don’t trust my dreams.  Everyone can dance.  Every person brings his or her uniqueness to their expressions of movements.  My dream is to celebrate humanity by creating and encouraging dialogue and discussion through the use of movement.  Age is a non-issue.    

I’ll see you in the studio!